For the most part, the stack of pillows next to me in bed is a perfectly acceptable boyfriend replacement…until I get snuggled comfortable in my blankets and realize with true heartbreaking disappointment that I left the window open and will have to get up again to close it. It is in such a moment that I wish I were in a relationship…Or had a robot butler.
HAHAHA been there.
I swim in awkward. I soak and writhe in it. Awkwardness makes it’s way into every part of my body, into the crevasses and canyons of my soul. It sticks to me, heavy and thick, like invisible hot tar.
Awkward and I have a love-hate relationship. I love the subtle awkwardness of life, the moments that make it more than a scripted play. The problem is, sometimes subtly is kicked to the side and replaced with a hard slap to the face. It’s those moments I’d like to trade in for another -ness.
I think I’ll go back to bed now. My head is throbbing and I need to ice the burning handprint on my cheek.